fear of the unfamiliar.

This week has been a whirlwind for me and I just felt like venting to you guys my thoughts. I feel so stuck between two worlds: the old and the new and find myself scared to move away from things that have been familiar to me for a long time. I’ve been stuck in this weird limbo since graduation where I am forced to rediscover who I am, my goals and what I need to do to keep myself alive in my creativity. It is so easy for dreams and creativity to die, ourselves are the only ones who can power what we want in our lives. I  am sometimes a person of excuses and I tend to miss opportunities because I am scared to risk the familiar.I am stuck between wanting to move on in my career and then at the same time wanting to be comfortable. It has been a constant pull for the last six months. I try to get myself out of my situation but then find myself using it as an excuse from getting what I want. I shrug it off by saying it wasn’t meant to be. But what if it was? Do I have to take a huge career risk in order to get myself to where I want to be?

I understand why college graduates have a “midlife crisis” per say after school. Suddenly you are faced with judgement and pressure.” Did you find a job? ” Why are you still doing the same thing you did while in school?” “Will you ever move on?” Then you either have to be the person who is going to take an initiative and do something to change their lives, the person who sticks with what is familiar, or the person like me, who constantly struggles between the two. Why do I suddenly feel like 6 months has been a lifetime ? Not to mention the competition you encounter with people wanting to do the same thing as you. Yet they have a lifetime of experience even though they are your age. I do believe passion and persistence will get you anything you want. It sounds easier said then done, but people want to see passion in your eyes for a job. I don’t know if I’ve made the right choices right now in my life but I am hoping my drive for a fashion career will take me to the place I want to be someday. If you are reading this and feeling theses same feelings know that you are not alone. You will find your niche just let your drive take you to where you want to be. Don’t let rejection kill your dreams and creativity. Don’t let other people’s opinions of your life make you feel worthless. You do have to take risks to gain what you want in life and I hope that I can do the same.


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